News Archive

$31 Burger King Order

09/30/25

What is going on with Burger King? My wife and I ordered two combos: a Bacon King and an Impossible Whopper, and it came out to $31? Who the hell decided this crap was worth even half of that? Your food has to be worth eating to deserve that much money. I ran over a screw and decided to buy four new tires, costing $450 and that Burger King order pissed me off more.

Fast food isn't a luxury. It's something you eat when you're late to work because you took a shit. It's for teenagers and twenty-somethings that can't cook and have nowhere to hang out. You can't just price these people out. What about the divorced Dad's trying to shut their kids up? Do these corporate monsters know what they're doing?

I suppose the only solution is to track down this supposed "Burger King" and demand answers. Word is, he likes to sneak around like some kind of demented pervert. While I'm at it, I think I'll hunt down the Pep Boys. Their heads are getting a little too big.

Do you hate various fictional characters as much as I do? Tell me about it in an e-mail, and I might put it in an article several years from now, after you've long forgotten about all of this.

Word is, something bad has happened to EA and they're about to become property of Saudi Arabia. Given their track record they'll be right at home. Most importantly, they're supposedly billions of dollars in debt.

I've been boycotting those sons of bitches since 2004, and this isn't the first time I've heard "EA is dying". I suppose we'll have to wait and see.

Presuming this is true, I don't have any sympathy. They're a predatory shovelware company and if you're worried about the employees working there, I should show you Tobacco company statistics, you'll be even sadder.

Whatever happens, I won't mourn the financial destruction of predators. Fuck 'em.