News Archive

Virtual Boy

09/15/25

Nintendo is re-releasing Virtual Boy games as part of it's Nintendo Classics line. In and of itself, cool! However, I'm seeing a lot of revisionist history right now about the subject. Claims that the Virtual Boy "wasn't that bad" and other nonsense. I own the damn thing, it's pretty bad. No amount of new games for it could have saved that experience. Virtual Boy Wario Land was a chore to enjoy near the end because every session would end with me not being able to see red for several minutes after. It overcharges the cones in your eyes, so looking at a coke can, you'll see grey. You think that's good for children? I'm not a doctor, and I know it's temporary, but I don't like it. No video game console should eliminate my ability to perceive one third of the color spectrum any amount of time.

I wonder how this will play out with the new headset attachment that's coming with this release. I've read that it's required, which means that I'll never be download an app that I already had no plans to download. Really, you might as well just not release the damn thing if you're going to do that. Who's gonna buy a $100 plastic headset to play fucking Virtual Boy? I'm not criticizing you if you do, but I'm saying you probably don't exist. Please get that checked out.