Review: Homocop
Review by Webmaster
Homocop. Could the 'homo' be short for Homo sapiens, just like 'robo' was (probably) short for robot? Could the central joke be that, instead of a cyborg, the main character is just a standard human being?
No. Of course not. This is a ROM hack, and Homocop is short for Homosexual Cop. Our protagonist is either the only 'faggot' on the force (The Faggot of Law Enforcement), or he is a cop who has singularly excelled at either being gay or enforcing the law (The Faggot of Law Enforcement). Or both. Who knows? Let's continue.
The intro gives us a breakdown of Homocop's features. Apparently he is endowed with a Homosexual Sensor and a Gaymetaboliser. I'm guessing these attributes helped him to rise to his current status as the faggot of law enforcement. But wait: what use would a police officer have for a Rape Battery? And are those directives really the kind of rules we want our law enforcers to adhere to? No, no, none of this adds up at all.
Well, maybe there's some way these tools can be applied practically on the streets to combat criminals...
My mistake. I assumed that, as a cop, our goal would be to take out perps and crims. I should have realised that Homocop is not your average law enforcer. His special method of cracking down on crime is to 'attack' people and 'fuck shit up'. I can't help but question the efficiency of brutal scattershot violence as a means of fighting crime, but then I'm no cop so what do I know?
Holy shit. Well, I guess it's clear now how he got his reputation as a standout homosexual. But do his law enforcement skills really live up to the hype?
After one hit his colours revert to the standard metallic blue Robocop pallette. Is this an intentional feature? How far should we read into this? Perhaps this colour change is a metaphor for Homocop's sexual orientation; maybe his 'homosexuality' is nothing more than a shallow affectation and, when push comes to shove, the facade will drop to reveal that he is simply your average a-sexual cyborg. Is that what this is about, Homocop? Is your garish pink paint job nothing but a self-deception designed to make you feel special? Answer me!
Seems to me that Robocop is sometimes discouraged, like when he loses confidence in his lifestyle choice & crumbles under peer pressure (well, violence). You disgust me, so-called 'Homocop'. The challenge is spoiled by your lies, and now I have no motivation to try again.
I never much liked Robocop as a game. Since when can a cyborg be stopped by thin punks and a couple of dogs? That's not the hacker's fault, of course. At least he/she has brightened things up with a lot of pink and heavy vulgar language. Homocop, you are a tragic and pitiable character.
--Webmaster